Niemcy z perspektywy najeźdźcy

Pentecost. Posters with a knight on a horse pasted across town: Knight Tournament at the castle! Why shouldn't I come? Perhaps they plan to let visitors swing swords or shoot arrows. I could even win something.

There's a queue in front of the gate. Entrance ticket costs 15EUR, but there's no signs of the event's schedule. Is it still worth it? Whatever, YOLO. So many dressed up people inside! Market stalls all prettied up, wooden and hand painted, with merchants inside keeping the vibe in their own period clothing. I start feeling embarrassed to have come in jeans, like some time traveler who didn't do any research.

Jester's on one stage, another stage hosts musicians — not bad. I can onnly complain about the amount of space. Everything is compressed around a mid-sized palace in the middle. Wait, what is that? There's also the park? I go past a low wall and see beer, coffee, sword-wielders acting out a play for the kids. Like we did in high school times in the medieval club, except here they have a script and an audience.

18:00 is approaching, and with it, the main show, the tournament from the posters. It looks like there could be actual horses involved, because a large arena is present within the park grounds. The high schooler in me feels excited for the kids that are going to mount horses and bat each other with training swords.

The high schooler in me couldn't be more wrong. Six armored riders roll out onto the arena on beautiful horses, each clad in different colors. They parade in front of the audience, take graceful bows, just like the arena master instructs. Here are the three local knights, and after them three from the far away Bayern (boooo!). Defending champion takes off his helmet — he's an older, bearded man, he and the horse both wearing crimson. The first challenge: pick up a chalice at full speed. The knight crosses the arena and grabs the chalice! His companion in purple halts in front of the chalice, but knocks it over. "Give me beer!" — he demands. An assistant throws him a mug, and he… Catches it! From now on, he's the drunken master, more concerned with doing pranks than the tournament.

Next up, a black-and-yellow girl, in parallel with a short man in green who seems not to play fair. Every knight has a unique style.

The challengers knock over marks, shoot haysack boars, throw javelins, charge a dummy, catch rings with their lances, until eventually they literally shatter their lances on one another (thanks to cleverly notched lances and specially built shields which catch the tip instead of deflecting it) to fall off their horses, insult one another, pull one another down from a horse and whack one another with swords.

Sometimes we deliberately enter another reality through books, music, or games. It's so common that it's expected and almost boring. The tournament flipped the relationship: it took me unaware and pulled me into another world. I thought I was in control and that I knew what I would see there, but the knights proved on and on that what they were doing ws more real than I thought a minute before.

The notched splinter of painted wood proves how real their effort was to create a different reality.

Every time I think of that day, I'm transported into it whole, whether I like it or not.